Dark Night of the Soul

Like orphaned stars and spent galaxies
swirling around the vortex
being drawn ever down,
ever deeper into the abyss
that is the black hole,
so is the dark night of my soul.

—the tentmaker

For ten years now I have successfully warded off the dread depression. But now, in the last several weeks, it has returned. And it has returned with a vengance known only by God, himself. Nothing, not prayer, not the rosary, not the scriptures, nothing, can bring me out into the light.

My medication is not helping anymore. I found a new doctor who says that my depression is only one pole of a bi-polar personality and that I need new meds.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD.
2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!
3 If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.
5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
6 my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning.
7 O Israel, hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem.
8 It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.

Psalm 130